A Zulu Wedding

On Sunday 4 December 2011 I attended the wedding of Bongi Radebe and her fiancée Isaac Shabalala. Bongi has been instrumental in the development of the African AIDS Foundation School Partnership project between St Peters Anglican Primary School and Intumbane Primary School in South Africa.

All ready to start the wedding ceremoy

The wedding was a simple affair in the Shabalala home which comprises a number of buildings in a typical Zulu kraal where extended famly share the ground but have their own living quarters. Pastor Titus, Lutheran Pastor at Escourt about 100kms away conducted the ceremony.

There were four medical students with me from University of Western Sydney and they were able to get a better understanding of Zulu culture and prac tice which is changing slowly. .




However apart from the Australian contingent  there were less than 15 adults in attendance, most being siblings and extended family of Isaac and some of Bongi's friends from Intumbane.

We arrived about 11am having made a number of enquiries about the location from locals. There are no street addresses - simply unsealed roads off the main road. It was not easy to find. Bongi greeted all of us with her usual big smile and introduced us to those present which included four of Isaac's brothers, one of their aunts, a sister of Isaac and her children plus friends of Bongi including Thuli from school and a number of others helping with the preparations. As we sat waiting for things to commence, Isaac spoke to us and told us how fortunate he was to be marrying the woman he loves. It was clear from his discussion that he saw himself as privileged to be marrying Bongi.

The wedding took place in the lounge room of the main house. Everyone except Bongi and Isaac and the pastor were seated. Much of the service except for the vows was translated for our benefit in English. Once Isaac had said yes the Pastor had a bit of fun (and Isaac looked very worried during this time) when he said "well eveything is now up to Bongi. Will she say yes and confirm this man's future as a good one or will she say no." Everyone was laughing except for Isaac and Bongi looked like she was just wanting the question asked.

A worried Isaac as the pastor delayed asking Bongi if she took  this man etc...

Eventually the question was asked and Bongi had no hesitation in responding in the affirmative. There were tears from both and Bongi on more than one occasion wiped Isaac's face. The homily was from Ecclesiastes 9:9 and a passionate exhortation was given to them both about the future ups and downs. Then the exchanging of rings took place with Isaac stooping on one knee to place the ring on Bongi's finger.

The meal was served with us Aussies being served first. One of the students asked the question why were we eating when no one else was? Bongi explained the order was we were the special guests (and acknowledged as such during the ceremony by the pastor), then the women served the men (who in true Aussie style were seated outside under  a tree) and then the women and children ate (women were seated in the kitchen).

There was no formality and no speeches after the ceremony. The afternoon was spent just chatting and socialising. We Aussies we privileged to speak to people about village life and culture. The wedding was a long time coming and my visit provided the convenient reason to have a low key wedding without the huge party which may have included 500+ guests.

The women in the kitchen

With the boys

Rolling pap in my hands

I was called out to join the fellas late in the afternoon around the tree. There I saw a wooden dish known as an igwembhe filled with a chicken roasted on flame abd pap which is corn meal mixed with water and a staple of the African diet across many cultures. This was my first experience of eating by hand since my childhood. I was taught how to roll the pap into a ball and took pieces of chicken (which turns out to be Zulu chicken, a leaner and brown free range bird about six months old) which were more flavoursome than what we eat at home.

Bongi lives against the spectacularly beautiful backdrop of the Drakensberg