FGM, Sex Love and Happiness and a Sweet Rose

 

Surprise Conference

From 8 to 10 February, the diocese was fortunate to have two international experts in their fields come and share their expertise for ninety clergy, thier wives and other diocesan staff on Sex Love and Happiness. This was a surprise conference by speakers who a year ago were in the Serengeti speaking in the heart of Femal Genital Mutilation territory. 

Speakers were Rev Patti Baldwin Ricotta from Cape Cod Massachusetts who has been coming to Uganda and Kenya since 2003 through Life Together International working with communities where FGM is practised. She came to the Serengeti area last year after being made aware of an article in the diocese's newsletter about FGM and ran a seminar for community leaders there.

Rose & mum Mary

I spent some time over the three days with Rose (above)
 while mum ateat meal times  

Bishop George, Rev Patti Ricotta and myself

Accompanying Patti was Dr Larry Young a psychaitrist who studies how genetic, cellular and neurobiological mechanisms regulate complex social behavior, including social cognition and social bonding. His research focuses heavily on the roles of the neuropeptides oxytocin and vasopressin in regulating the neural processing of social signals and social attachment.

Dr Larry Young is a neuroscientist and spent some time in the Serengeti prior to coming to Mara studying wilderbeest and attachment and how thousands of young wilderbeest and mothers differentiate their biological mother and child

Professor Larry Young's book

The uniquenesss of this conference was bringing science and religion together to explain how FGM destroys relationship for women and their husbands. The science highlighted how the removal of sexual organs of women directly impacts the behaviour of women in relationships and reduces the levels of oxytocine and dopamine in women and their ability to give and receive love. The religious side focussed on the perfection of the human body and why anyone would want to mutilate it from its designer's purpose.

A revelation not only to the Tanzanians but
 to me (apologies for photo quality)

The use of violence is normal in disciplining children here

Oxytocine and dopamine are the love drugs. Without them falling in love is difficult. This was essentially the lesson about why FGM is abhorrent as it makes women less fulfilled than otheriwse they might be. I discussed with Rev Ricotta about whether she had used the analogy of clipping the head of the penis in her training and she does. This does have an effect on men. She has been working with one tribe in Uganda for many years and they have come to realise that their cultural practices need to change and she was there before coming to Tanzania to meet with tribal chiefs and leaders who were discussing ceasing the practice. This does not have universal support, but does have overwhelming majority support.

Some of the attendees. There were over 70 from all over the region

A similar meeting was held in this area a year ago in FGM territory near the Serengeti, where there is a tribe which practices FGM as a rite of passage for girls who then become marriageable. Some early marriages occur from as young as fourteen years of age. The practice is part of the economy. My friend Nguti's grandmother was a 46 cow bride (dowry) and his mother 23 but his sisters are married for less than ten. The economy is changing as the population increases and so in the case of supply and demand there are more women than there were in grandma's time. (I can't believe I am writing this but you get the picture. Women are a trading commodity and have no intrinsic worth or value in this culture).  

Photo at the end of the conference

Along with FGM, polygamy is a big part of the culture not just in FGM land but more so there, where multiple wives is not uncommon. I met a guy who was from one of his father's fifteen wives (and one of 52 sons). Needless to say I am sure his herd of cows was substantial.

I did find an alternative use for my gifted material and demonstrated for men how women can be assisted with the heavy lifting. In fact this was better than the packs we use at home

Gifts were given to presenters Rev Patti, Dr Young, Mrs Janet Okoth (Bishop's wife), Chair of the Mothers' Union and next to me Martha Obura (MU Secretary) which sponsored the conference. I seem to get a gift  every time. New shirt again

The three days were quite enlightening for participants (including me). If FGM is going to end it does need a long term view with lots of input giving reasons for the need to end it. The church here runs a safe house for girls who flee home as the "Cutting Season" approaches, having learned about it in school and being encouraged to not take part. But in this male based culture it is difficult, especially when education ands at primary school.